Communication Indirect

Teenagers have mastered the art of keeping themselves busy in the hours following school, well past bedtime. They’re on their phones and online, texting and trolling. Before Instagram, teens were also active. However, they preferred to chat on the phone or in person while hanging out at the shopping mall. While it may have seemed like aimless hanging out, they were experimenting, learning new skills, and interacting with others in real-time. Today’s kids miss out on these opportunities. Modern teens learn to communicate by looking at screens and not with other people.

As a species, we are highly tuned to social cues, says Catherine Steiner Adair, EdD. She is a clinical psychologist and the author of. There’s no doubt that kids are losing out on critical social skills. It’s not that texting or online communication creates a learning disability. But it does put everyone in a context where they are nonverbally disabled, as body language, facial reactions, and even minor vocal reactions become invisible.

Cyberbullying, imposter syndrome, and cyberbullying

It is also easier for kids to be cruel as they communicate more indirectly. Donna Wick, a clinical psychologist EdD, says that kids text things they would never say to someone’s face. The following are some examples of how to improve your ability. psychologist. She says that this is especially true for girls who don’t want to argue with each other “in real life.”

You want to show them how to disagree without destroying the relationship. But social media is teaching people to disagree in extreme ways and to destroy the relationship. She says, “It’s the exact opposite of what you want to happen.”

Dr. Steiner Adair also agrees that girls face a greater risk. “Girls, and girls in particular are more socialized to compare themselves with other people to develop their identity, which makes them more susceptible to the negative effects of this.” She warns a lack of solid self-esteem can be to blame. We forget that relationship aggression is a result of insecurity, feeling bad about yourself, and wanting to make other people feel worse.

For adolescents, peer acceptance is important. Many of them are as concerned about their appearance as they would be if they were running for public office. It can even feel serious to them. Kids today get actual polling results on how people feel about them and their appearance through things like “likes.” It is enough to make anyone turn around. Who wouldn’t like to look better if they could? Kids can spend hours reshaping their online personas to create an idealized image. Teenage girls sort through hundreds of pictures and agonize over which to post online. Boys try to get attention by outgrossing each other. They push the envelope in an already uninhibited online environment. Kids are ganging up on one another.

The use of social media has always been a problem for adolescents, but now they have more options – and more traps – than ever before. It is only adding to the pressure when kids see what everyone looks like. What happens when the photo-shopped kid next door also looks like a magazine model? What if your profile doesn’t reflect the person you really are?

Dr. Wick says that adolescence, and especially the early 20s, are years when you become acutely aware of contrasts between what you seem to be and who you think you are. It’s like the “imposter syndrome” in psychology. You begin to feel the gap shrink as you gain more experience and mastery. Imagine your greatest fear being that you’re not as good as you appear and then having to constantly look good! It’s exhausting.”

Self-esteem is a result of consolidating your identity. The more you pretend to be someone else, the harder it will be for you to feel good about you.

Stalking (and being ignored)

Another major change brought about by new technology, and smartphones in particular, is that we’re never alone. Kids can update their status and share what they are watching, listening to and reading. They also have apps which let their friends track their exact location at any time. Text messages are always available, even if someone is not trying to update his friends. Kids feel more connected to each other. It’s like the conversation is never ending, and there’s always a new thing happening.

“Kids never get away from social media. They are always there, no matter what we think about the’relationships.’ In some cases they even initiate them.” Dr. Wick notes. “And this, by itself, can cause anxiety.” Everyone needs time to relax, recharge and regroup from the demands of intimacy. If you don’t get that time, it is easy to become emotionally depleted and fertile ground for anxieties to grow.

In the midst of all this hyper-connection, it’s surprisingly easy to get lonely. Kids know when they are being ignored with a depressing degree of certainty. When you are waiting for a response, and it doesn’t arrive, the silence is deafening. The silent treatment can be an insult, or it could just be the result of a relationship between two teenagers that started very intensely and then faded away.

In the past, when a boy wanted to end a relationship with you, they would have to talk to you. “Or at least, he called,” says Wick. Dr. Wick says that he may disappear from the screen and never return.

Even if the conversation continues, waiting indefinitely can cause anxiety. We are being put to the back of the line, as well as others. Our very human need for communication is also delegated.